While the ”news channel of the year” (SKY) is on full blast here showing pictures from an old storm (it must be, they showed the same sequence over and over yesterday and then this storm, Johanna, hadn’t reached the UK yet) I keep thinking of the one day of canal boating which everybody in my family remembers.
It was on our third day canal boating ever. Before that we had felt like idiots in side winds on the Severn, behaved like idiots in Shroudport, but as we went slowly north towards Kidderminster the weather cleared up and everything seemed so much brighter. We found a pub which we decided would be the place where we would see the Eurovision Song Contest (because Denmark had a really good song that year and we hoped that they would win, which they also did). After having checked out the pub, however, we decided it was of such a character that we didn’t want to moor the boat outside it, so we took the boat up about 500 meters, to what looked like an opening in the forest. By then it was time for dinner, and since it had started to drizzle and get dark, we didn’t get a proper view of what it looked like outside then.
Next morning I woke up about 6 to bird song. And it was hot. I made myself coffee and went outside while the rest of the family was still sleeping and when I opened the door to the front deck I could hardly believe my own eyes.
The place we had found was just beautiful. The forest floor was blue with Bluebells, along the water’s edge grew Primroses. The forest was old oaks and other leafy trees and what they lacked in fully grown foliage was compensated by the Ivy and other climbers growing on the trees. Nearest to the canals grew Spireas as tall as trees (here they get to maximum one meter) and in full bloom. On my right side a mare and a foal were grassing and on the other side a doe and a bambi were drinking water. Further up in the hills I could see sheep with lambs, there were ducks with babies and a swan mother and her two children also. And as I sat there, a rabbit with her baby came out, a heron and her baby, it was like everything was in bloom and everything had babies. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky and it was about 20 degrees early in the morning. It was like somebody had dropped me in a Beatrix Potter picture book.
As the family woke up, they all came out and I think we sat there for one hour all very quiet not to disturb anything. The kids were 12 and 13 then and even they were amazed at the extreme beauty of that place. It was like we were the first people who ever had been there, yet when we moved further up, we realised that what we thought of as forest, probably only was about 50 meters wide and the world’s first industrial area was right behind it. Which makes the experience even more amazing, come to think of it.
Monday, 10 March 2008
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Dedicated to my Favourite Coat and the People who Made it
It’s now just one week till we will be leaving and in the mean time we have got most of our questions answered thanks to canalworld.net which I found on the blog of my new pen pal Les.
On the question of “what to wear” we got so many varied answers that it was hard to chose. I noticed one about ski- or sailing clothes being too colourful for the canals and thought “yeah, sure, among all those “subtly coloured” boats, Pål and I will stick out like sore thumbs”! So for those of you who have worried about us “sight polluting” the canals, I can now assure you that a) the rental company supplies us with rainwear (and in the preferred canal colour) and b) we do live in the country, so we can do “country cheek”, besides green is my favourite colour. Actually it seems like my favourite coat will be “the right thing” for the canals.
I bought my favourite coat when I was 25 (31 years ago). It was then and would still be now, the most expensive garment I have ever paid for, yet in the long run it has turned out to be the most economical thing I have ever bought. It is an all weather jacket produced by a famous British company originally bottle green, but by now faded to an even prettier green more like olives. It has never been very fashionable and yet never totally out of fashion for the right weather either. I have worn it every winter for 31 years and some times in the summer also, and not one button is missing, not one seam is broken. My mother has paid me to buy three new coats in this period (and I think that both my mother and the coat are good for a couple of more). As some of you by now have figured out, the coat was actually made before we people of the north started to outsource all the things we were clever at to south east Asia, so the coat spots a label that probably has become a collectors item these days: “Made in Britain”!
My mother thinks that I should soon start to dress “more mature”, and she might have a point since I am pushing 60, and the coat looks a bit worn, I admit to that, so I was sort of thinking of retiring it but I took it on one more trip to Italy last year. A gorgeous and very elegantly dressed young Italian woman came over to me in a bar, looked at the coat and said admiringly: Viiintich! She actually thought I had bought it in a cool second hand shop and told me she was looking for a coat like that herself! The coat now has it’s second spring! If it’s fashionable enough for Italy, I can wear it anywhere! And I bet that some time in the future my grandchildren might argue over who is going to inherit it!
As I have gained weight I once asked my son if I looked fat in it. “No” he answered like a good boy (because I have taught him to answer that to all women if they ever ask him that question), and then a bit more quietly; “but you do look a bit like a green Mummin-mamma”! So if you see somebody on the canals like that: It’s me!
On the question of “what to wear” we got so many varied answers that it was hard to chose. I noticed one about ski- or sailing clothes being too colourful for the canals and thought “yeah, sure, among all those “subtly coloured” boats, Pål and I will stick out like sore thumbs”! So for those of you who have worried about us “sight polluting” the canals, I can now assure you that a) the rental company supplies us with rainwear (and in the preferred canal colour) and b) we do live in the country, so we can do “country cheek”, besides green is my favourite colour. Actually it seems like my favourite coat will be “the right thing” for the canals.
I bought my favourite coat when I was 25 (31 years ago). It was then and would still be now, the most expensive garment I have ever paid for, yet in the long run it has turned out to be the most economical thing I have ever bought. It is an all weather jacket produced by a famous British company originally bottle green, but by now faded to an even prettier green more like olives. It has never been very fashionable and yet never totally out of fashion for the right weather either. I have worn it every winter for 31 years and some times in the summer also, and not one button is missing, not one seam is broken. My mother has paid me to buy three new coats in this period (and I think that both my mother and the coat are good for a couple of more). As some of you by now have figured out, the coat was actually made before we people of the north started to outsource all the things we were clever at to south east Asia, so the coat spots a label that probably has become a collectors item these days: “Made in Britain”!
My mother thinks that I should soon start to dress “more mature”, and she might have a point since I am pushing 60, and the coat looks a bit worn, I admit to that, so I was sort of thinking of retiring it but I took it on one more trip to Italy last year. A gorgeous and very elegantly dressed young Italian woman came over to me in a bar, looked at the coat and said admiringly: Viiintich! She actually thought I had bought it in a cool second hand shop and told me she was looking for a coat like that herself! The coat now has it’s second spring! If it’s fashionable enough for Italy, I can wear it anywhere! And I bet that some time in the future my grandchildren might argue over who is going to inherit it!
As I have gained weight I once asked my son if I looked fat in it. “No” he answered like a good boy (because I have taught him to answer that to all women if they ever ask him that question), and then a bit more quietly; “but you do look a bit like a green Mummin-mamma”! So if you see somebody on the canals like that: It’s me!
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
About Vikings, the Forefathers of the Hooligans
Scientists have found out that 80% of the British have common genes with the Norwegians. And since there are about 60 million British, that should be about 48 million people descending from the Vikings in Britain, as opposed to only 4.5 million in Norway. I know that the reputation of the Vikings in Britain is that they “raped our women”. Well, a few may be, but those 80 per cent actually tell that there either have been a 1000 year old cover up to protect rather promiscuous British women, or the libido of the Vikings were something… few Norwegians have got today.
And as for the nuns they supposedly raped in Ireland. Most of them had actually been given to the convent because they’re parents couldn’t afford to take care of them. And now pretend that you are a young, Irish girl of this sort. Would you go with a crew of rather tall, blond and good looking guys back to the cool city of Lade (Trondheim, then the capitol of Norway), or would you prefer to stay put with the bold, fat guy in a draughty and moist convent? And we know what catholic monks are like today; there is no reason to think they behaved any differently in those days. And as for the “barbaric” Vikings, what do you think your history would be like if it was written by Irish monks? Besides, they only raped pretty nuns (that’s why girls in Trondheim are so pretty today).
In a mosque in Istanbul that used to be a church, they found runes cut into the banister at the top gallery. For many years they couldn’t say whether it was made by a Viking or what it said, but when they did (they carbon dated the wood or something and of course an Englishman cracked the code of the runes), it changed the history of the Vikings a bit. It said “Håvard was here” (like the first Kilroy ever)!
I picture Håvard being a young shipmate, bored stiff with the sermon taking part in a foreign language seven stories down, so he takes out his pocket knife and tags. A more modern Viking (Hooligan) would in this instance take out his spray can and tag something similar on the church ceiling, I imagine. But thanks to the “tagging” of Håvard, we now know that the Vikings were literate, since even people who had to be that high up (the further down the posher the people) could write. And from thereof the scientists have deducted that the Vikings were cultural people!
I am not sure the same is going to happen when 1000 years from now the archaeologists are coming across some of the signs in Britain that we find hilarious. Like with the Vikings, not all British are Hooligans. Most of them are in fact like a kinder, better mannered and more polite Norwegians, and most of the time the pubs are filled with people like that. But since other things than nice families eating dinner out, well dressed elderly Englishmen having they’re one or two beers and little old ladies chatting with they friends, obviously is happening on the weekends, these people find themselves surrounded by signs like “Do not let your children bother other guests”. So we watch well dressed, well manned and obviously prosperous English people with they’re children and wonder when are they going to send they’re kids over to bother us? Or pick flowers from the hampers (“If you want flowers, don’t pick them here”)? Or try to find another way of opening doors than using the handle (on exit pub door “Press handle down to get out”)? Or climb up in the ceiling to touch the red hot heater (“Do not touch heater, it’s hot”). Or just litter (with what? One normally gets both glasses and china plates in the pubs. There is nothing there to litter with)?
Other scientists have through research on twins found out that the characteristic we humans are most likely to inherit is our sense of humour. And if anybody should be in doubt as to whether the Norwegians and the British are related, check out our humour. It is the same in both countries, a fact most English people find quite amazing when they come here, and something we enjoy when we are in England.
It’s so nice to be surrounded by people who get our ironic, obnoxious, sarcastic and rude sense of humour. The only personality change we have to do in England is that we speak English instead of Norwegian. And we are very happy that the world language is the language originally spoken by the people who managed to turn Jordvik (a word with 4 sounding consonants and 2 sounding vocals) into something that sounds like a burp: York. Anybody can learn English!
And as for the nuns they supposedly raped in Ireland. Most of them had actually been given to the convent because they’re parents couldn’t afford to take care of them. And now pretend that you are a young, Irish girl of this sort. Would you go with a crew of rather tall, blond and good looking guys back to the cool city of Lade (Trondheim, then the capitol of Norway), or would you prefer to stay put with the bold, fat guy in a draughty and moist convent? And we know what catholic monks are like today; there is no reason to think they behaved any differently in those days. And as for the “barbaric” Vikings, what do you think your history would be like if it was written by Irish monks? Besides, they only raped pretty nuns (that’s why girls in Trondheim are so pretty today).
In a mosque in Istanbul that used to be a church, they found runes cut into the banister at the top gallery. For many years they couldn’t say whether it was made by a Viking or what it said, but when they did (they carbon dated the wood or something and of course an Englishman cracked the code of the runes), it changed the history of the Vikings a bit. It said “Håvard was here” (like the first Kilroy ever)!
I picture Håvard being a young shipmate, bored stiff with the sermon taking part in a foreign language seven stories down, so he takes out his pocket knife and tags. A more modern Viking (Hooligan) would in this instance take out his spray can and tag something similar on the church ceiling, I imagine. But thanks to the “tagging” of Håvard, we now know that the Vikings were literate, since even people who had to be that high up (the further down the posher the people) could write. And from thereof the scientists have deducted that the Vikings were cultural people!
I am not sure the same is going to happen when 1000 years from now the archaeologists are coming across some of the signs in Britain that we find hilarious. Like with the Vikings, not all British are Hooligans. Most of them are in fact like a kinder, better mannered and more polite Norwegians, and most of the time the pubs are filled with people like that. But since other things than nice families eating dinner out, well dressed elderly Englishmen having they’re one or two beers and little old ladies chatting with they friends, obviously is happening on the weekends, these people find themselves surrounded by signs like “Do not let your children bother other guests”. So we watch well dressed, well manned and obviously prosperous English people with they’re children and wonder when are they going to send they’re kids over to bother us? Or pick flowers from the hampers (“If you want flowers, don’t pick them here”)? Or try to find another way of opening doors than using the handle (on exit pub door “Press handle down to get out”)? Or climb up in the ceiling to touch the red hot heater (“Do not touch heater, it’s hot”). Or just litter (with what? One normally gets both glasses and china plates in the pubs. There is nothing there to litter with)?
Other scientists have through research on twins found out that the characteristic we humans are most likely to inherit is our sense of humour. And if anybody should be in doubt as to whether the Norwegians and the British are related, check out our humour. It is the same in both countries, a fact most English people find quite amazing when they come here, and something we enjoy when we are in England.
It’s so nice to be surrounded by people who get our ironic, obnoxious, sarcastic and rude sense of humour. The only personality change we have to do in England is that we speak English instead of Norwegian. And we are very happy that the world language is the language originally spoken by the people who managed to turn Jordvik (a word with 4 sounding consonants and 2 sounding vocals) into something that sounds like a burp: York. Anybody can learn English!
Thursday, 28 February 2008
A bit of this and a bit of that before we go
We have now booked the boat, the airline tickets and the two hotel rooms we need from Wednesday the 12th (when Ryanair still has affordable prices) till we get the boat two days later. Now all I have to do is deside what to pack. In comparison to going south in the winter, one doesn't need to go in the attic for summer clothes for a trip on the canals. In fact, I can pack more or less what I would have packed for a skiing trip - omit the skies, add rainwear. The problem now is to pack so little that we can manage to carry our bags on and off all the public transportation we need to take before we get to the boat. And to leave room for a little "finery" since we are going to London. Not totally necessary may be, but I do have a fear of being taken for a bag lady after a couple of days on the boat. I tend to think boat is boat and forget that this boat actually has both shower and hair dryer, and I have no excuse for looking like an old rastafari after a week on the boat! Which I have on the sailboat.
I thought I should bring some kitchen wear, since most rental places at least has dull knives, but after having read the inventory list on the luxury boat we have rented, I found out I could open up a catering business from the boat (coffee grinder and cake tins were extra, and I think I will get them just in case... are there any laws agains opening up a small business on a rental boat?), so all I will bring is a knife sharpener.
And then its the weather question: What will it be like? We always expect rain in UK, anything else is an extra bonus (and first time we did this, we had a heat wave, and came back as tanned as if we had been to Spain, so I have to remember bathing suits), but what about the small (and some times large) storms we "inherit" from UK three days later? How will the keel-less monster react in strong gales? And how will other canal boaters react to us if we are unable to steer the boat then?
We found out the hard way (we were yelled at a lot) that there were a couple of "no-nos" in canalboating in comparison to sailing. You can cling clang the boat into a lock as much as you like (it's an iron boat on muddy ground), but you can NOT bump into somebody else's boat. You can not moore outside another boat without asking (and then expect a NO), and I suppose being "distressed at sea" does not give you any rights on the canals. Very much unlike at sea, where if in distress you can moore anywhere you like and if not distressed, anywhere a "horse can not wade", and in the harbours the boats moore outside each other without asking and in the evening if you are in the boat moored closest to the harbour, you just have to endure all the people from all the other boats jumping on your boat on they're way to the next one. And our pubs close at four in the morning! And if you want to go out early in the morning then ... well you have to retie all the other boats with fenders and all...
After having opened up a lock in Stourport that haden't been opened for 20 years (all the kids in Stourport had to help us) and thereby wasted about 50.000 litres of water, we found out we had a "narrow" boat and not a very wide one, as we first thought! Well, we learned. Coming back, we sort of dog-walked the boat through the basin not to touch other boats (while our kids were washing the boat on the outside) and then the lockmaster yelled "you can rent my boat next time". Well, we did give him a couple of beers as an excuse for our miserable entrance to Stourport, and he yelled something very different before that!
I thought I should bring some kitchen wear, since most rental places at least has dull knives, but after having read the inventory list on the luxury boat we have rented, I found out I could open up a catering business from the boat (coffee grinder and cake tins were extra, and I think I will get them just in case... are there any laws agains opening up a small business on a rental boat?), so all I will bring is a knife sharpener.
And then its the weather question: What will it be like? We always expect rain in UK, anything else is an extra bonus (and first time we did this, we had a heat wave, and came back as tanned as if we had been to Spain, so I have to remember bathing suits), but what about the small (and some times large) storms we "inherit" from UK three days later? How will the keel-less monster react in strong gales? And how will other canal boaters react to us if we are unable to steer the boat then?
We found out the hard way (we were yelled at a lot) that there were a couple of "no-nos" in canalboating in comparison to sailing. You can cling clang the boat into a lock as much as you like (it's an iron boat on muddy ground), but you can NOT bump into somebody else's boat. You can not moore outside another boat without asking (and then expect a NO), and I suppose being "distressed at sea" does not give you any rights on the canals. Very much unlike at sea, where if in distress you can moore anywhere you like and if not distressed, anywhere a "horse can not wade", and in the harbours the boats moore outside each other without asking and in the evening if you are in the boat moored closest to the harbour, you just have to endure all the people from all the other boats jumping on your boat on they're way to the next one. And our pubs close at four in the morning! And if you want to go out early in the morning then ... well you have to retie all the other boats with fenders and all...
After having opened up a lock in Stourport that haden't been opened for 20 years (all the kids in Stourport had to help us) and thereby wasted about 50.000 litres of water, we found out we had a "narrow" boat and not a very wide one, as we first thought! Well, we learned. Coming back, we sort of dog-walked the boat through the basin not to touch other boats (while our kids were washing the boat on the outside) and then the lockmaster yelled "you can rent my boat next time". Well, we did give him a couple of beers as an excuse for our miserable entrance to Stourport, and he yelled something very different before that!
Anticipating Canal Boating in Two Weeks
I have now been browsing the internet for a month since we decided that we would go canal boating again, and since I can't get enough of canal boating histories myself, I thought I should add my own. This will be the third time we hire canal boats and I know I could write a book about every trip because it's such a nice way of holidaying, besides we meet som many interesting people, see so many interesting things and something funny happens all the time. This time I will write it down, so I have the memories till next time I get a longing for the canals. As I read blogs I find myself looking forward to retirement while calculating how long my Norwegian old age pension would reach on the canals.
This time we have rented from the Black Prince company and why we rent from them is a good history in itself. When we canalboated last time we did it in the Llangollen canal - a must see for at least all Europeans. In the Chirk marina we met a really nice man. First he taught us how to navigate one of the really big canal boats and later he seemed to be quite impressed with us for washing the rental boat we had. It was yellow with pollen, but since we were in the UK it gave us associations to assid rain! We asked to buy washing powder which they didn't sell there, but the nice man gave us some + a mug and his card - with the words: "I give you the washing powder, if you promise to rent from us next time".
We come from a little village along the Oslo Fjord which used to be a big sailing town. Today, however, only two ships are registered in the village (called Hvitsten): The two cruise ships "Black Prince" and "Black Watch", so one can say we have a connection there.
Next time I was looking for a canal boat was for Christmas 2006. I wrote to the mail address on the card, reminding what I thought was the nice man from Chirk about our encounter in Chirk. Somebody from the head office called Tim answered and he and I had the most hilarious correspondance there for a while. Now we ended up with the most amazing house in Italy for that Christmas, so our correspondance lead nowhere then.
This time - as a more experienced renter - I found a page that sent out requests to all kinds of small boat companies, and what I was looking for was (honestly) a big boat for a small price and preferrably in the London area. We have discovered that a lot of our British friends have never been canal boating and we would like to take them, and since most of them live in London... Besides, canal boating in London, how cool is that?
I got a really good price (although a small boat) from a company in the Llangollen canal. We can see the Llangollen canal again (and at one point we will) we have friends there also, so we weren't really disappointed, although London was our first choice.Then I get a mail from Tim of Black Prince's head office asking if I had forgotten him. Not at all, but I thought he had forgotten me, so I told him about my very good offer and told him that if we should go with Black Prince he had to serious underbid - for a joke. But woulden't you belive that he not only matched the price but offered us a bigger boat and - near London! Be careful what you wish for....
Now reading all these blogs and canal boat sites I keep coming across a really mean man called Tim Parker, who flatly refused to reimburse some renters who had damaged a boat by negligens. At least that's what I got out of the story, and that the renter had Aschperger syndrome. One of the things that is special about these people is that they get fixations on a subject and the fixation is there till the Aschperger person is finished with it and not before. Ask any parent of one and they will tell you. We have a house friend with the syndrome and he was at one point totally fascinated with lead paint (the orange and poisenous stuff they used to paint boats, bridges etc. for it not to rust). I finally gave up trying to change the subject and just decided that I probaly would not hurt if I learned a bit about lead paint, so I let him finish. It took five hours and now I know more of lead paint than I ever will get the use for.
The Aschperger man who got cross with Tim Parker has posted they're correspondance on so many sites (and with all the 170 comments) that it's difficult to avoid it, and all of sudden I realised that Tim Parker must be my really funny and helpfull new pen pal! I could of course post the letters he has sent to me, but I am not going to because then he also could post my letters to him! But I will say this much: If you had read OUR correspondance you would get a very different opinion of the "Terrible Tim" from the 1000 internet pages. His customer care has so far been about 300% above what I have expected!
And in two weeks we will meet him in person, and since I am a perceptive person with gypsy genes, I will then give you an accurate acount. Till then you can wonder with me: Is he a willain or is he a prince?
This time we have rented from the Black Prince company and why we rent from them is a good history in itself. When we canalboated last time we did it in the Llangollen canal - a must see for at least all Europeans. In the Chirk marina we met a really nice man. First he taught us how to navigate one of the really big canal boats and later he seemed to be quite impressed with us for washing the rental boat we had. It was yellow with pollen, but since we were in the UK it gave us associations to assid rain! We asked to buy washing powder which they didn't sell there, but the nice man gave us some + a mug and his card - with the words: "I give you the washing powder, if you promise to rent from us next time".
We come from a little village along the Oslo Fjord which used to be a big sailing town. Today, however, only two ships are registered in the village (called Hvitsten): The two cruise ships "Black Prince" and "Black Watch", so one can say we have a connection there.
Next time I was looking for a canal boat was for Christmas 2006. I wrote to the mail address on the card, reminding what I thought was the nice man from Chirk about our encounter in Chirk. Somebody from the head office called Tim answered and he and I had the most hilarious correspondance there for a while. Now we ended up with the most amazing house in Italy for that Christmas, so our correspondance lead nowhere then.
This time - as a more experienced renter - I found a page that sent out requests to all kinds of small boat companies, and what I was looking for was (honestly) a big boat for a small price and preferrably in the London area. We have discovered that a lot of our British friends have never been canal boating and we would like to take them, and since most of them live in London... Besides, canal boating in London, how cool is that?
I got a really good price (although a small boat) from a company in the Llangollen canal. We can see the Llangollen canal again (and at one point we will) we have friends there also, so we weren't really disappointed, although London was our first choice.Then I get a mail from Tim of Black Prince's head office asking if I had forgotten him. Not at all, but I thought he had forgotten me, so I told him about my very good offer and told him that if we should go with Black Prince he had to serious underbid - for a joke. But woulden't you belive that he not only matched the price but offered us a bigger boat and - near London! Be careful what you wish for....
Now reading all these blogs and canal boat sites I keep coming across a really mean man called Tim Parker, who flatly refused to reimburse some renters who had damaged a boat by negligens. At least that's what I got out of the story, and that the renter had Aschperger syndrome. One of the things that is special about these people is that they get fixations on a subject and the fixation is there till the Aschperger person is finished with it and not before. Ask any parent of one and they will tell you. We have a house friend with the syndrome and he was at one point totally fascinated with lead paint (the orange and poisenous stuff they used to paint boats, bridges etc. for it not to rust). I finally gave up trying to change the subject and just decided that I probaly would not hurt if I learned a bit about lead paint, so I let him finish. It took five hours and now I know more of lead paint than I ever will get the use for.
The Aschperger man who got cross with Tim Parker has posted they're correspondance on so many sites (and with all the 170 comments) that it's difficult to avoid it, and all of sudden I realised that Tim Parker must be my really funny and helpfull new pen pal! I could of course post the letters he has sent to me, but I am not going to because then he also could post my letters to him! But I will say this much: If you had read OUR correspondance you would get a very different opinion of the "Terrible Tim" from the 1000 internet pages. His customer care has so far been about 300% above what I have expected!
And in two weeks we will meet him in person, and since I am a perceptive person with gypsy genes, I will then give you an accurate acount. Till then you can wonder with me: Is he a willain or is he a prince?
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